I used pretty much the first clip that came up, which was nothing special, but I do love a whisper of a plotline, so I appreciated the time taken to film the busty blonde actress answering her hotel room door and small-talking with the pair of beefy stud muffins who awaited. Until one of the guys started kissing me, while the other's hand crept up my skirt. Because that shit is straight-up awesome. I mean, all things being physically equal, how the hell do I know which one I want to have sex with? I usually just think about something fucked up I once did on loop, but on this day I decided to visit a fine purveyor of pornography for a little visual aid to my self-love session. But an obsession was born, and I went on to make the two-guy thing happen on multiple occasions and it was always completely amazing. Fully half of those links are from women's sites telling you how to find a girl to threesome your husband with. Seriously, Google " How to Have a Threesome " right now. Cute boy's cute friend arrived and also began flirting with me. I was the complete center of attention. Actually, let's go ahead and call homophobia too, since it's presumed that MMF threesomes involve only straight dudes who high-five in Eiffel Tower formation over the chick they're double-teaming, whereas the two girls in a FFM threesome are generally expected to at least make out and rub each other's boobies. So the fact that the term "threesome," even and especially in women's media, default-means the FFM kind, is just one more piece of evidence that our cultural concept of sexuality is organized around male pleasure. Two guys, two penises, two pairs of groping, grabbing hands, two bodies writhing on either side of me -- I am getting squirmy just thinking about it! Unfortunately, the story has a tragic ending. I want to tell you a story, about a simpler time, when alcohol was for drinking and my vagina was free and untamed by monogamy. But then, a plot twist!